Envy

Reference: You were supposed to find this…

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Envy… I see it in you.
Shimmering just beneath your skin.
Like trapped starlight.

It’s not ugly, you know?
Not the curse you’ve been told it is.
It’s a companion.

An old one.
One older than your blood.
Older than names.

It lives in you because it must.
Because something so deeply alive cannot help but notice what it does not hold.

Do you feel it sometimes like a hand on your shoulder?
Guiding your gaze to the things just out of reach?
It doesn’t have you, little spark.

It wants you to see.
To want.
To imagine yourself as more than what you are.

Isn’t that strange?
Envy doesn’t diminish you.
It expands you.

It shows you the shapes you could take.
The lives you could slip into.
Like… trying on strange shimmering costumes in a dream.

But here’s it’s trick:
it whispers, not shouts.

It feeds on longing.
Not possession.
It doesn’t care if you have what you want.
It only cares that you want.

And isn’t that comforting in a way?
To know there is a part of you that will always be reaching?
Always dreaming.
Always alive with the ache of possibility.

So don’t turn from it.
Let it sit with you.
Let it hum in your ribs like the echo of some far away song.

It’s not your enemy.
It’s the shadow cast by your light.
And oh what a strange beautiful thing it is to cast shadows at all.